The "Pick-Me Girl" and her Descendants
During my time at uni and throughout my years in the education system, I’ve picked up on common trends in binary stereotypes of girls and boys at school. Obviously, as my peers and I have matured, the nature of these labels has changed, but an underlying current remains: while the identities associated with boys- either harmful or positive- existed on their own, the categories for girl students were often linked to boys and how it affected them. Girls behaved/presented for boys, either to attract or repel them, whereas boys just existed. That isn’t to say that boys were never criticized for their behavior, clothes, or personality, however, in my memory, people didn’t assume they were a performance for girls.
One example of this phenomenon is the recently popularized term “pick me girl.” The pick me girl, often attributed to a high school student, wants to be “picked” by her male peers, and therefore will appeal to the male gaze/fantasy while putting down her fellow women. So, she may reject traditionally feminine interests and concerns in front of boys, claim that men are easier to make friends with, make alt-right jokes, and describe themselves as “not like other girls.” While this term may be entirely applicable to a few people in rare cases, however, as it has been used more and more, often now it is used to tear down women and create a link between their identity and pleasing boys where there isn’t one. For example, I’ve seen a girl at uni being called a pick me for giving a boy friend a cookie (as well as many of her other friends), instead of it being viewed as a simple act of kindness.
Additionally, from the pick me girl craze came the “bruh girl” and the “hiii girl,” where the bruh girl rejects femininity and is “one of the boys,” while the hiii girl is overtly feminine, thought of as girly, shallow, and not as “real” or “authentic” as the bruh girl, spending too much time trying to look pretty and be nice to boys. Of course, a counter-movement has been launched against each of these terms at some time or another, where currently on social media, the “hiiiii” girl seems to be the most celebrated, and the bruh girl is more ridiculed (however, in my experience, “pick me girl’ is still commonly used). Other “types” of girls have also emerged in high school/social media spaces, such as the Patrick Batemen/Pearl girl, who is femininely unhinged, noir, possessive, and either a man hater or completely dependent on them (or both). However, all of these categories of girls simplify them into 2D characters in movies that do not pass the Bechdel test rather than complex people that can stand alone without an association to men. These labels remind me of one of our readings that discussed the shallow identities women are often forced into, as well as the reading that coined the “default male.” Not only are these archetypes usually basic and unempathetic, they also are focused on how each of them behave around men. This sentiment pervading the high school social environment negatively affects non-men, as it sprouts a seed of paranoia in them about how each of their actions and choices will be perceived, and they are discouraged from expressing themselves authentically. Since this is my last year in high school I doubt I will see this problem remedied, but I hope steps are made at uni, if not everywhere, to break down these harmful labels.
A lot of media portrays women as just existing for men. It's crazy how many movies and shows don't pass the bechdel test. Often when a girl dresses a little fancy during school people assume that she is trying to impress someone, usually the boys in the class. Although more and more people are speaking up about how women don't only live for men, most people still have subconscious ideas that women do their makeup or wear dresses for men.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I think it's important to acknowledge that issues like these are present at Uni and that even we maybe need to reflect on the things we say and think about other girls. I also like Khadeejah's point that a lot of shows and movies perpetuate the idea that everything women do is for men. I can think of a handful of movies and TV shows where it seemed to me that a male love interest liked a girl because she "wasn't like other girls," as if there's something wrong with being feminine. I think it's sad that some people still think girls do everything for male validation, and once again, it's important to call attention to how this kind of thinking is present in our own school.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you called out the fact that all these characterizations of women are connected to men when men don't need to be mentioned when describing women. Looking at the male descriptors, none of them are ever connected to women, but with women it always seems to be drawn back to men, which is problematic. Even at Uni these things can be found, which I wish was not as prevalent as it is. Hopefully we can do things to stray away from these trends. Good post!
ReplyDeleteNice Post! I never realized that this even existed. It is also ironic because both of the "hii girl" and the "bruh girl" have negative connotations while men only have names with positive connotations. This is a very informative and interesting post, great job!
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